Let’s face it, no one wants to be cheated, and it's not something they see coming either. But, if you really love your partner and see that they’re remorseful, you can choose to forgive them. Sometimes, people do truly change their ways and want to be a part of your life. So, how to forgive a cheater and move on with your life?
This is easier said than done. In movies, you just have to apologize, and life goes on normally. The reality for someone who’s been cheated on in real life is much different. Let’s take a look at some of the different ways you can come to terms with your partner's affair and move on to come out stronger.
Part 1: Check Before Moving on to Forgive A Cheater
Cheating is a deal breaker for many people, and for good reason. But there are many circ*mstances in which you can’t leave a cheater. So, do you forgive them? Here’s what you need to know:
1.1 Should you forgive a cheater?
Cheating is synonymous with betrayal, something which is hard to look past at first. Before deciding if and how to forgive a cheater, consider the following things:
Determine how you feel: Experience the emotions you are feeling without invalidating yourself and appraise the situation to determine the best possible outcome to get what suits you in the situation.
Determine your requirements for a partner: Evaluate if your current partner will be able to work on respecting these boundaries and meeting your expectations. Negotiate boundaries with your partner where you can and debate if you want to continue with the relationship.
Determine how your decision will affect your family: Check your family situation, how your decision to forgive someone for cheating will affect your children, and how they will be raised as a consequence.
1.2 Is it weak to forgive someone for cheating?
To forgive a partner after they have cheated takes a lot of courage, mental strength, and a loving heart, which not many possess. A more common response to cheating is being vengeful and reactive. However, these responses don’t generally show strength. Do note that all feelings, that a victim might be feeling in the scenario are valid, and getting past being cheated on by forgiving the offender is an act of resilience.
1.3 Can You Truly Forgive Someone for Cheating?
Everyone ponders the question, “Can you forgive cheating?” Making peace with the situation and accepting it is part of forgiving; at some point in life, everyone will move on. Your partner's actions define them; they don’t have to define yours; only you influence your decision to forgive.
Cheating does not mean the end; it can get better; second chances, when coupled with effort, assurance, and honest regret over one’s actions, can lead to truly forgiving your husband or wife for cheating. Like all mistakes, this one can also be worked on and forgiven.
Part 2: How Do You Accept Being Cheated on?
For many people, finding out that their partner is cheating on them is a very hard-hitting blow. It can shatter your self-confidence, make you question your worth, and generally put out the message that ‘no, you’re not good enough.’ So, how does someone come to terms with it?
The first thing you need to realize is that you aren’t the problem. What they did has nothing to do with you or how you loved them. A person cheats because something is wrong with them, not you. You need to accept that it happened, and there’s no changing it. Of course, you have the right to feel sad, but you can’t let it put a stop to your life.
The next step is to hold your partner accountable. Meet them and explain how much their actions hurt you. Ask them what they want to do moving forward and how they will fix the relationship. If you want to stay with them, you would have to set new boundaries and map out the future for the two of you.
Part 3: How Do You Get Over a Cheater You Still Love?
Everyone knows that once they have been cheated on, they deserve better. But love works in mysterious ways, and sometimes you just don’t want to leave your partner. However, it is important that you realize you should love yourself more. Your partner took advantage of your love for them and betrayed you.
Analyze the situation and recall the times you have spent together. You need time to evaluate your relationship and determine if it has been a healthy, loving, long-lasting relationship in which you two have overcome barriers together.
Consider relationship therapy and establish boundaries that remind yourself you cannot allow someone to cross them. Prioritize yourself, know your worth, and love yourself first before giving out love. Choosing yourself will only help you get over a cheater you are still in love with.
Part 4: How to Forgive Someone for Cheating?
- Take a break: Take some time to yourself and maintain distance from the relationship. This will allow you to detach from the problem and take a more objective look at the situation you have. Afterward, you will have a better understanding on how you want to proceed.
- Determine a pattern: Is this his first time cheating, or is he habitual of certain behaviors leading up to infidelity, e.g., flirting with others, checking out other people, trying to contact their exes, etc? It is important that you understand this.
- Determine your partner’s stance: Visualize your partner's decision-making process. Are they seeking asylum? Do they feel genuine remorse? Are they going to rectify their ways and become better people?
- Communicate: Convey your disappointment clearly, highlight what you expect, and the steps your partner should take in order to reestablish trust with you.
- Give It Time: Forgiving does not happen overnight; it requires effort and time. As you two work towards fixing your relationship, the easier it will be for you to forgive your partner for cheating on you. Ask for reassurance along the way.
Part 5: Stages of Forgiving Infidelity
Relationships are unique, and how you forgive infidelity varies, but people mostly experience these stages.
Trauma Stage: Occurs after you have discovered the affair and undergo the shock and betrayal associated with it. It is a roller coaster of emotions, ranging from grief, hurt, and hopelessness to anger, accompanied by tears and blaming.
Acceptance Stage: You accept the affair has happened and give yourself time to regulate. Sometimes cheating can cause you to go into denial and delude yourself into thinking everything is alright. You have to come to terms with it.
Identifying Issues Stage: This is the stage where you and your partner effectively communicate and examine what may have been the cause, whether it was stoppable, whether it will happen again, who’s at fault, and what will happen now.
Addressing the Issue Stage: Emotions are now more manageable, and your healing starts. Healing takes time, and the involved partners need to take their time rebuilding their relationships.
Part 6: When Not to Forgive a Cheating Spouse?
While we may realize that forgiving is the best solution to the situation, however, reality is a little different:
- Repeated Betrayal: If your partner has a pattern of cheating and associated behaviors. These people are often repeat offenders and won’t change their ways. Forgiving such people will only enable their behaviors.
- Lack of Accountability: Forgiveness is often a reward for accountability and can only be provided if the offender is remorseful of their actions. Especially in the case of cheating, the lack of remorse is often a sign of lacking respect for their partner.
- Abusive behavior: Abuse is never an okay response in any situation, especially if the cheater is abusive, they shall never be forgiven. Prioritize yourself and your safety.
- Personal Boundaries: Forgiving a cheater is a personal choice that no one can make for you or influence. If the act has crossed your boundaries in a way that staying with your partner will only add to your hurt and traumatic experience then it is a perfectly valid choice to not forgive.
Part 7: How to Check Whether The Cheater Cheats Again or Not?
You can never be too sure when it comes to your partner cheating again, Spylix is a phone tracking app that is at the top of its league right now, allowing you to monitor and check on your partner to reduce their chances of cheating again.
7.1 Key Features of Spylix Cheating Catch App
More often than not, forgiving a cheater requires knowledge about their faithfulness, and Spylix can help you get it. Keep an eye on your partner or someone without them having a clue. Here is what Spylix does:
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- Works without root or jailbreak
- Let’s you geofence websites
- Gives you an accurate location history of the phone
- Allows you to monitor text apps like WhatsApp, iMessage, Skype and more
- Let’s you see what the person has downloaded
7.2 How to Check Whether The Cheater Cheats Again or Not?
If you want to ensure that someone won't cheat on you again, consider installing Spylix on their device to secretly monitor them. You can install it on Android or iPhone.
Spylix for Android
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Step 1: To get started, download and install Spylix, and set up an account with the help of your email address.
Step 2: When the account is created, the app will let you explore a list of instructions you have to follow before setting up the app. Tap “Continue” on the app after the instructions are followed.
Step 3: Install the Spylix app on the target phone as soon as possible. Now go to the app's control panel and pick the features you prefer to use.
Spylix for iPhone
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Step 1: To begin, head to the Spylix website and create an account with your email address.
Step 2: In the window pop-up, you must add the iCloud details of the target device to link it to Spylix.
Step 3: Go to the dashboard and spy on their calls, texts, locations, and more.
7.3 Why Choose Spylix as The Best Cheating Catch App?
You might be thinking to yourself at this point, “Why choose Spylix out of all the other monitoring apps?”. The answer is simple: Spylix gives you great features at a reasonable price that the other apps can’t match. This is what makes Spylix different:
- Spylix gives you access to multiple spying features in one dashboard
- No one will notice the app is on their phone
- It offers spying services from locations
- You don’t physically need to be close to the device to monitor it
- It works on iOS and Android.
With all this, what more do you need?
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Part 8: FAQs about Forgiving Cheating
Tired of feeling like you were too forgiving towards a cheating ex? Here’s what other people have been asking about:
8.1 Things you Can't forgive in a relationship
Cheating may be forgivable, but there are certain things you can’t forgive in a relationship, such as a pattern of back-to-back infidelity, lack of accountability from the cheater, lack of guilt and remorse, inconsistent effort, previous lying behaviors, indifference to consent, and any type of physical or emotional abuse.
8.2 Will a cheater cheat again?
You can never be too sure as statistics are conflicting on this topic, one side argues that people are capable of growth and change if they truly commit to fixing their mistakes. The other side believes that a person who has cheated is likely to cheat again. Still, we all almost always question ‘Should I forgive a cheater?’
8.3 How to forgive emotional cheating?
Acknowledging your feelings is essential when learning how to forgive cheating. Understand your partner's reasons and try to determine what the issue was. Realize that we need others to rely on and romantically bond with. Work together on creating a safe place in the relationship for each other to confide in and stay romantically connected.
Conclusion
When it comes to forgiving a cheater, you need a lot of time and strength. Still, somehow, people manage to come out on top. We listed all the ways in which you can forgive after an affair and get on with your life.
No matter how well you’ve forgiven your partner, you’re always going to have some doubts. Use a monitoring app like Spylix to keep a close eye on them. And remember, if they’re unfaithful again, they don’t deserve your forgiveness!
